Category Archives: Blended Family

The Blended Family

I think I chose the wrong career path.  I should have been a lawyer.  Ok, so I’m a little riled up– we just received a statement from our family court lawyer.  The statement was expected as we are gearing up to go back to court– the amount was more than expected.  There is zero doubt in my mind that it is worth every penny, but it is still hard to have your house fund chipped away at.  We’ve already spent half of a down payment in the last three years– again, absolutely necessary, but incredibly frustrating.

Without saying too much (probably not a good idea while proceedings are still active), we have been my stepdaughter’s primary caregivers since she was 2 years old.  However trying it may be, both emotionally and financially, this amazing little girl needs us to fight for her.  For stability, for her health, for the chance to realize her talents and dreams.

This is the blended family.  It is both heartbreaking and exhilarating.  I have been blessed with another daughter (whom I actually welcomed into my life years before my biological daughter).  The first time she said “I love you,” that was it– I was in one hundred percent.  I knew she needed a strong female role model– and knowing that she needed me motivated me to work harder on my relationship with my husband and on myself.

However, with this sweet girl comes another mother.  I have always wished that we had a co-parent who really wanted to work cooperatively for the good of our child– she is the one who really needs it.  She’s old enough now to start asking questions, and how do you explain why both sides of her family must stay so separate?  Why does her sister (our baby daughter) have both parents together while she has to go back and forth?  In one family she is the baby, in one she is the big sister.  The houses could not be more different.  At 6 years old she has already learned to be two different people, switching back and forth to assimilate with her surroundings.  There’s no way it can’t have an effect on her.

I don’t know the answers yet to the questions that I know will come someday– all too soon.  I am still learning everyday to better support her in this unique journey.  In one sense she is lucky to have such a large extended family– and they all do love her very much.  But she has been given a challenge indeed– one that her father and I must do everything we can to equip her with the tools and strength to overcome.  I know there will be struggles along the way, but I know she can do it.  We can do it.  We are the Rodriguez Family, a special family: a blended family– but stronger because of it.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.