I found myself getting to be in a bad mood today. For some reason, I seem to get less sleep on Saturdays than any other morning of the week. Both kids were up and ready to start the day by 8:30. This after being awake with Annabelle at 1:30am, 4:30am, and 5:30am. As a bar/restaurant manager, Matt works late on weekends, so I decided to treat him to sleeping as late as he wanted– which happened to be 1:30pm. Yeah. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to sleep 7 hours completely uninterrupted. (To his credit, he put Annabelle back to sleep after her 5:30am waking).
So Matt rolls out of bed while the girls and I are finishing lunch, and I caught myself scowling as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. I forget what I asked, but his response was not in the tone of undying gratitude that I felt I deserved for being a martyr this morning. I got madder. Then he asked if he could run to the store real quick before I left for the barn– he bribed me with Starbucks, so I obliged. The “quick” trip ended up taking an hour and a half. I was pissed. I stomped off with my coffee that wasn’t even hot anymore and started the 40 minute trek to go visit my horse Goldie, who Matt didn’t seem to care that I hadn’t seen in TWO weeks and I felt very guilty about.
When I finally arrived at 4:00pm, what little sun was able to make its way through the clouds was hanging low in the sky. A brisk breeze was blowing, putting a chill in the 60 degree air. Amazingly, Goldie wasn’t very dirty, so we didn’t have to spend too much time cooped up in the stall grooming and were able to get right outside. I instantly felt better.
There’s no turnout on Saturdays, so Goldie was thrilled to get out and stretch her legs– actually, it turned out to be more of a strut. Cool, crisp days are her favorite, and she had an extra spring in her step which reminded me of our long ago horse show days. I couldn’t help but smile at her youthful exuberance– she looked far from twenty-four years old. She looked so beautiful I actually whipped out my phone (which usually never leaves my pocket during barn visits) and took a short video of her prancing.
When she was finished with her workout and we headed back inside to clean up, I realized that every trace of anger and resentment that had built up during the day had faded. I wasn’t really mad– I was just exhausted. I needed a couple hours to get away to what I have always called “my happy place,” wherever Goldie is. I love the smell of barn– the fresh sawdust, dirt that always seems to float in the air, leather. As a child I played outside most of the time, but as an adult I spend so much of my life indoors. Obviously I get a little stir-crazy and the only cure is fresh air and equines.
At home later that evening, I tried to be patient with Matt when he still seemed tired. He works so hard to take care of all his women and deserves a rest too. We are a team, and sometimes you have to pick up the slack for your teammate. Maybe I can get a nap on one of his days off– or maybe, just maybe, the girls will sleep past 9am this morning! One can only hope… 🙂